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akmu-
life is fucked, suhyun thinks.
this isn't a new thought in her brain, in the world - she's sure it plagues millions of minds. suhyun's no inventor. she is a thinker, though. maybe that's why she's here, at her brother's wedding reception, blankly staring at the guests dancing while wondering about what could've been. she snorts indignantly. ha. as if she has the right to wistfully daydream about "what could've been". as if her present life is anything but her fault. as if she didn't make countless bad choices. as if she didn't scar the one she loved most. as if she isn't the sole preventer of the sweet "what ifs" she wishes she could have. ha. god, she's a fucking idiot. nothing new, though. nothing new.
her eyes drift over to the colorful buffet. she should probably be hungry, considering she hasn't eaten since what, last night? she isn't though. her thoughts have made herself lose her appetite. splendid.
she wanted to go home. 8:34 pm, the fancy (uncomfortable) watch that she has only worn once before today reads, meaning another hour at least. that's not even including whatever other sisterly duties she's probably been ordered to do and was too spaced out to process but too polite to ask to hear again. she needs to get out of her thoughts before she starts crying in the middle of the reception or something. she doesn’t think that will leave a very good impression of her brother on the guests.
the bathroom is always an easy escape.
---
eunji did not fucking want to be here.
don’t get her wrong - she likes weddings. in general, they’re fun. she thinks they’re very cute, it’s always heartwarming to see two people who are hopelessly in love celebrate their love. it’s sweet. the two promise that they’ll be together forever. they say they’ll spend the rest of their lives with each other.
fuck. eunji’s heart skipped a beat just at those words. it’s been so long since that day, and they still bring tears to her eyes and a harsh tug at her heart. that day - well, her, to be specific - is the exact reason she doesn’t want to be here. because she’s here. eunji’s managed to avoid being in a 15-foot range of the woman, but unfortunately, she’s seen her so many times it’s made her head hurt. she can’t leave though, it’s a bit too early for that to be considered polite. maybe if she was a bit more distant, maybe, but it’s just her luck that this is the wedding of her closest cousin’s best friend. that probably makes her sound a little distant, actually, but she’s not. she’s had too many skype calls and gone to too many bubble tea/board game meetups and cry-laughed at too many instagram dms for that. jisoo (said cousin), would probably hit her for even thinking about leaving.
but, god, does she want out of here. if she accidentally drifts her gaze over to where she is sitting one more time, eunji’s probably going to lose it. and by that, she means she's going to break down crying. she may be strong, but this was taking a lot more out of her than she thought it would. maybe eunji’s just pathetic. she hasn’t even had to talk to her, for goodness sake. she never looked upset. she just sat there in her glory, cold gaze set, smiling at the guests and being perfectly perfect, probably not sparing one thought for eunji. she wonders when the last time she thought about eunji was. does she ever think about her? does it hurt her, ever? fuck. eunji shouldn’t be thinking about these things. now she’s really about to cry. she needs to leave. she can’t. fuck. she unlocks her phone. 8:29, it reads. she stands up. she’s giving herself 30 minutes to get herself sorted. then, she’ll be perfectly fine for the rest of the night. she brushes herself off, weakly smiling to the few older folks on the other side of the table whom she’d likely ignored a few times in the past hour. she starts heading off when jisoo - who is drunk at this point, eunji could tell from the way she’s giggling uncontrollably - stops her with a back hug and a whined eunjiii, where are you gooing? eunji smiles, a little more sincerely, and pushes the other girl off her gently.
“ i’ll be right back,” she reassures. “just need to go to the bathroom.”
----
"i think," she had whispered, taking a shaky breath before continuing. "no. i know." she looked me in the eyes. "i want to spend the rest of my life with you."
--life is fucked, suhyun thinks.
this isn't a new thought in her brain, in the world - she's sure it plagues millions of minds. suhyun's no inventor. she is a thinker, though. maybe that's why she's here, at her brother's wedding reception, blankly staring at the guests dancing while wondering about what could've been. she snorts indignantly. ha. as if she has the right to wistfully daydream about "what could've been". as if her present life is anything but her fault. as if she didn't make countless bad choices. as if she didn't scar the one she loved most. as if she isn't the sole preventer of the sweet "what ifs" she wishes she could have. ha. god, she's a fucking idiot. nothing new, though. nothing new.
her eyes drift over to the colorful buffet. she should probably be hungry, considering she hasn't eaten since what, last night? she isn't though. her thoughts have made herself lose her appetite. splendid.
she wanted to go home. 8:34 pm, the fancy (uncomfortable) watch that she has only worn once before today reads, meaning another hour at least. that's not even including whatever other sisterly duties she's probably been ordered to do and was too spaced out to process but too polite to ask to hear again. she needs to get out of her thoughts before she starts crying in the middle of the reception or something. she doesn’t think that will leave a very good impression of her brother on the guests.
the bathroom is always an easy escape.
---
eunji did not fucking want to be here.
don’t get her wrong - she likes weddings. in general, they’re fun. she thinks they’re very cute, it’s always heartwarming to see two people who are hopelessly in love celebrate their love. it’s sweet. the two promise that they’ll be together forever. they say they’ll spend the rest of their lives with each other.
fuck. eunji’s heart skipped a beat just at those words. it’s been so long since that day, and they still bring tears to her eyes and a harsh tug at her heart. that day - well, her, to be specific - is the exact reason she doesn’t want to be here. because she’s here. eunji’s managed to avoid being in a 15-foot range of the woman, but unfortunately, she’s seen her so many times it’s made her head hurt. she can’t leave though, it’s a bit too early for that to be considered polite. maybe if she was a bit more distant, maybe, but it’s just her luck that this is the wedding of her closest cousin’s best friend. that probably makes her sound a little distant, actually, but she’s not. she’s had too many skype calls and gone to too many bubble tea/board game meetups and cry-laughed at too many instagram dms for that. jisoo (said cousin), would probably hit her for even thinking about leaving.
but, god, does she want out of here. if she accidentally drifts her gaze over to where she is sitting one more time, eunji’s probably going to lose it. and by that, she means she's going to break down crying. she may be strong, but this was taking a lot more out of her than she thought it would. maybe eunji’s just pathetic. she hasn’t even had to talk to her, for goodness sake. she never looked upset. she just sat there in her glory, cold gaze set, smiling at the guests and being perfectly perfect, probably not sparing one thought for eunji. she wonders when the last time she thought about eunji was. does she ever think about her? does it hurt her, ever? fuck. eunji shouldn’t be thinking about these things. now she’s really about to cry. she needs to leave. she can’t. fuck. she unlocks her phone. 8:29, it reads. she stands up. she’s giving herself 30 minutes to get herself sorted. then, she’ll be perfectly fine for the rest of the night. she brushes herself off, weakly smiling to the few older folks on the other side of the table whom she’d likely ignored a few times in the past hour. she starts heading off when jisoo - who is drunk at this point, eunji could tell from the way she’s giggling uncontrollably - stops her with a back hug and a whined eunjiii, where are you gooing? eunji smiles, a little more sincerely, and pushes the other girl off her gently.
“ i’ll be right back,” she reassures. “just need to go to the bathroom.”
----
